Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
