News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
