If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
