The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
