I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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