omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just tell him i said nine months
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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