sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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