Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
