he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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