May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
