some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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