so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
