Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
