I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
