Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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