atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
