im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
