I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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