I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
