chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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