i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
