thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
