Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
