just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
with your own penis?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You are the jesus of drinking
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
