Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
