U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
