So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
