the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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