I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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