why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Me too!
it hurts more in the daytime
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
