who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
