69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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