Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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