Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
