just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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