where am i from again
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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