i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
