I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
