i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We are two peas in an std pod
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
