therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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