all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
