worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
