They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
