He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
