Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
