I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
