I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
