How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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