so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
either way he was missing a nipple.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
