How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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