Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
