Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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