im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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