Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i now understand why vodka
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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