i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
well you can't waste a boner
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
